First, let’s define what we mean by “flow state.” Coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, (try saying that one out loud) flow state is that perfect sweet spot where total immersion in an activity occurs. You know when you’re so engaged in painting that hours fly by, or when you lose yourself in the rhythm of yoga or dance? That’s flow! In these moments, our worries dissipate, and we become fully present. Time becomes elastic, and our true selves are allowed to step forward- free from the constraints of daily life.
Maladaptive Behaviors: The old patterns that no longer serve us
I became very familiar with the expression of these in my earlier work as a rehabilitative trainer in a group home for adult men with disabilities and then as a 5th-grade teacher for the Autism Spectrum population as well. Maladaptive behaviors can look like a lot of things. The use of drugs or alcohol, self-harm, or lashing out are just a few examples. These behaviors served a purpose and gave us temporary relief from an unwanted situation earlier in life. Now, however, they are hindering our growth and well-being.
As a teenager searching for acceptance among new peers, I was introduced to marijuana and began to use it regularly to numb myself. It was a subconsciously made choice, never aware of or comprehending the reasons behind it until I took the time to explore my inner world through art and therapy. I used it for years, not understanding I felt the need to escape from my own feelings and experiences, not just fit in with a community.
Don’t get me wrong. Using “pot” served its purpose. I wasn’t aware I was an empath when I was younger. I didn’t know the feelings I felt weren’t all mine. Before I could recognize this gift, I used “weed” to dull my experiences of other people's emotions, but it also dulled mine. It doesn’t just numb the bad… it also numbs the good.
For me, I also realize I used it to keep myself feeling “OK” in situations that were def not OK. I finally decided I wanted to be present in my life. I quit. I found I had stunted my emotional growth since my time in middle school. I’ve had to do the work to develop my understanding of self, how to control what emotions I feel by being in the presence of others, and improve my EQ, or emotional IQ. Now, watercolor is my drug of choice. Keep these maladaptive behavoirs in mind as we begin exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS.)
Life can often feel like a tightrope walk — a delicate balance between the complexities of our emotions and the ebb and flow of daily existence. It’s in our pursuit of finding equilibrium many of us stumble into something magical: the flow state. As an artist and someone who has faced my own struggles, I have found that flow not only enhances creativity but also serves as a powerful tool for healing. Whether I’m dancing, painting, or simply moving through my day, I have the opportunity to unlock my potential by dropping into flow. Here’s the secret… the more we practice dropping into flow, the easier it becomes.
The Role of the Self
During flow states, our brains quiet down, allowing our intuition and creativity to surface. This is a moment where logic takes a backseat, and the heart and soul take the wheel. When I’m in flow, my emotional state lifts and I also become detached from my physical maladies. Migraines, asthma, and allergies all begin to disappear. I’ve come to learn that In this perfect state of intuition, I can also access powerful healing methods— an inner sanctuary where we can explore and address our emotional hang-ups, and our wounds, and move into our strengths- our light.
Understanding Flow State
One book that profoundly shaped my understanding of the intersection between flow, movement, and mental well-being is Spark by John J. Ratey. In it, Ratey discusses how exercise stimulates brain function at a cellular level, impacting mood, cognition, and overall mental health. He also shares that learning is more deeply engrained when done during movement. Movement can offer a great way to get the healing to stick deeper in our brains and create new neural pathways. If we are practicing flow along with movement, it embeds deeper in our brains and thus our ability to easily drop in.
Movement and Healing: Insights from Spark
Beyond physical movement, flow can be accessed through creative expressions, such as painting or writing. We’ll talk about this shortly but for now, these activities allow us to translate the sensations and emotions we experience into tangible forms. It’s a raw, cathartic release that frees us in healing. I’ll link the book in the related links section.
What’s Really Happening Inside: Lessons from No Bad Parts
In my healing journey, I came across the book, No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD. It seemingly fell into my life at the exact right place, time and way. #IYKYK The premise of his work introduces the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) which emphasizes that we all have different parts of ourselves. We can all identify with our inner critic- that voice that tells you you aren’t good enough or your work is meaningless. Or maybe we have an angry part that sometimes lashes out when we encounter certain stimuli. Dr. Schwartz identifies many parts that all fall into one of three categories: exiles, managers, and firefighters.
You can learn more about IFS by grabbing the book for yourself by clicking HERE and you’ll get to see what else I’m reading. The workbook is also linked next to it.
Before I go on, I need to be clear that I’m not a therapist or doctor of any kind. I’m just a sensitive and intuitive gal of artistic persuasion on my spiritual journey seeking the truth of my whole self, hellbent on sharing what I’ve learned with my fellow earth-bound spirits, particularly children and their parents, children on the autism spectrum and their support systems, and children with trauma and their support systems.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the mind is viewed as consisting of different "parts." These parts are categorized into three main groups, each playing a unique role in a person’s mental and emotional landscape:
1. Exiles
Exiles are the parts of us that hold pain from past experiences, often rooted in childhood. They contain the emotions and memories that are too intense or distressing for us to face regularly, such as feelings of rejection, shame, or fear. Because these emotions are so uncomfortable, exiles are often pushed away or "exiled" to protect the individual from feeling overwhelmed. You can think of an exile as the part of you that remembers the original pain, feeling ignored or unloved in childhood, holding onto those raw emotions. These are the wounds.
2. Managers
Managers are the proactive parts that aim to control our internal and external environments to prevent the exiled feelings from surfacing. They are strategic and sneaky, using tools such as perfectionism, criticism (hello, inner critic), or caretaking to maintain the status quo and prevent us from getting hurt. A manager might manifest as the perfectionist voice urging you always to achieve more to gain approval, essentially keeping the unsettling feelings of inadequacy at bay. These are the protectors.
3. Firefighters
Firefighters are reactive parts that emerge when the exiles' feelings break through despite the managers' efforts. They strive to distract or numb us from the pain through impulsive actions or behaviors, such as overeating, substance use, or excessive gaming. This is like when you're feeling suddenly overwhelmed by sadness or anger, a firefighter might lead you to binge-watch TV or indulge in comfort food to escape the discomfort. These are the maladaptive behaviors.
Each category plays a crucial role in shaping our responses and behaviors. IFS therapy involves recognizing and understanding these parts to foster healing and self-discovery. By building a relationship with each part, the individual can begin to heal past wounds, reduce inner conflict, and lead a more integrated life. #LifeGoals, am I right?
I’m sure you’re wondering what this all has to do with art and flow state. Hang tight. I’ll tell you but first I got more ‘splainin’ to do.
Building a Relationship
- Allow these parts to express their emotions without judgment. Understand that they hold important truths about past experiences and need acknowledgment and healing.
- Recognize that managers aim to protect you from harm. By identifying their positive intentions, you can work on finding healthier strategies to address their concerns.
- Instead of reacting to their sometimes destructive methods, approach these parts with gratitude and curiosity. Explore what triggers their responses and find supportive alternatives that meet your needs without harm.
Setting the Stage
The one bubbling up is usually a manager part, the protector. Without judgment I say, “Thank you for all of your hard work keeping me safe. Would you mind telling me what you are protecting? I’m curious to learn more about why you’re here. I will sit quietly while I listen for the answer. It will also come easily. If you are being kind and curious it will tell you of the wound, the heartache it’s keeping you from. If the protector won’t tell you that’s ok too. These protectors have spent years keeping you at a distance from the pain they protect.
2. Clear Your Mind: Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and notice any tension or anxious thoughts you may be holding. Acknowledge these feelings, then visualize letting them go. You might even imagine them floating away down a river until you can no longer see them.
3. Establish an Intention: Before you begin your creative or physical practice, take a moment to focus on what you hope to achieve. Come back to that exile you began to speak with. Let them know that you love them. Let them know that you understand they are a child and that you are an adult/young adult and that you can understand things more fully now. I express that I’m sorry about what happened and that it wasn’t their fault and that nobody deserves to feel that way.
4. Drop into flow: let that exile know you are here to help and ask it to express itself while you begin your practice. Allow your brush or pencil, or dance it that’s how you want to drop into flow, express what has remained unspoken. Channel your thoughts into tangible forms. Perhaps imagine bringing your inner child into the artwork, inviting them to express their emotions without fear.
5. The purpose of IFS strategies is to integrate the separated parts with an updated system of behaviors. Once you have explored your exile and nurtured it, we recognize the old maladaptive patterns and notice how they don’t hold the same power over us.
This practice can be profoundly eye-opening. In my conversations with these inner protectors, I’ve discovered the surprising motivations behind many of my actions. For instance, the realization that my use of marijuana was rooted in a desire to feel less estranged and separate from others also led to a powerful shift in my life. But what of being “too much” for others?
In my watercolor sessions, when my young friend and I painted together, the simple act of creating while sharing our stories created an atmosphere of safety and understanding. Each brushstroke became a dialogue not just with ourselves but with one another—a reminder that we share similar fears and hurdles.
Additionally, stay tuned for more blog content about using art and flow as a tool for self-exploration and healing. You can revisit my previous blog post on flow state for deeper insights into how to cultivate that experience in your life.
As you continue to explore the healing power of flow state, consider incorporating the practices I shared today into your routine. Remember that healing is not a linear process; it’s a winding journey filled with ups and downs. Each time you enter a flow state with a focus on healing, you’re unlocking the latent possibilities within yourself. Here are some final thoughts to ponder:
1. Be Patient and Gentle: Healing is a journey, not a race. Some days will feel easier than others, and that's perfectly okay. Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a dear friend. Acknowledge any setbacks as part of the process rather than signs of failure.
2. Practice Consistently: Like any skill, accessing flow state takes practice. The more you engage in movement, art, or other creative pursuits with intention, the more natural it becomes to enter this sacred space. Embrace the practice as part of your spiritual and emotional wellness routine.
3. Stay Curious: Approach each session with an open heart and a curious mind. What will you discover today? What emotions will surface? Each flow experience can lead to new insights about yourself that you didn’t expect.
4. Celebrate Your Victories: Acknowledge the progress you make, no matter how small. Each step toward loving and accepting yourself is a victory worth celebrating. Notice the alignment between your creative flow and the healing taking place within. Share your successes, whether in your artistic community or with friends—your journey can inspire others toward their healing.
5. Embrace Vulnerability: Allowing your true self to shine through can be daunting, especially if you’ve spent years trying to conform to external expectations. Embrace your vulnerability; it’s a source of strength that can lead to deeper connections and understanding.
Additionally, don’t forget to check out the Books That Changed My Life section on my website, where you'll find helpful resources that have guided my own path toward personal transformation.
As we continue this collective journey, let's support one another in our paths to healing. Follow along for more content on the various ways we can use art to enhance our experiences and well-being. Whether it’s writing, dancing, painting, or moving — embrace your flow with courage, and allow the beauty of healing to unfold.
As I’ve experienced firsthand, acknowledging and healing the wounds we carry from our past not only transforms our inner landscape but also ripples outward, enriching our relationships and interactions. We can emerge from the shadows, guided by the light of our own understanding, sensitivity, and courage.
So let’s lean into the flow together — embracing the healing, the art, and the warmth of shared experiences that can heal not just ourselves, but ripple into the lives of those we touch.
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